And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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