There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
