New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Randomize
