Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
