I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Randomize
