For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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