Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
