I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
