I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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