Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
