protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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