What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I deserve this hangover.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
