I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
