its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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