why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
