umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
