She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
