The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
