The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
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