I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
