I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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