I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
