:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
