I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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