ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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