just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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