I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
My cat gives me a boner
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Randomize
