Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
