ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
