We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Randomize
