I think I just saw someone hide a body.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
