I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
