I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Randomize
