So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
