So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
