why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
