You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize
