i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
