Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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