I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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