dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Randomize
