i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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