He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
