Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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