SEEEEXXX PLEASE
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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