i don't like sucking hair
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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