Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
