I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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