I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
