Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
