so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
