if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
