i just had sex bonerless
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
